Sam and Son

Son: I wonder can I do that?
Sam: Fix it? Yes there’s a bucket over there. There’s some grass over the hill. Please cut it.
Son: The wind will blow your hat if you hold your face up like a flower. Your face will get a lift for free. For free yes? No yes.
Sam: What make your mind up please. Words are useless in the face of such flagrant disrespect.
Son: We must keep silent. I’m not saying anymore. I’ve said enough.
Sam: Why? Is someone else coming?
Son: Other than who exactly?
Sam: I dunno? You said someone was coming.
Son: No I didn’t I said we must remain here until someone comes
Sam: Really that sounds exciting. Can I bring my friend?
Son: Only if he’s over the hill.
Sam: Why?
Son: Why Not?
Sam: Because I like the grass. It reminds me of being a rabbit in a former job.
Son: Surely you mean life?
Sam: What do you mean you idiot?
Son: You are mean not me! I’ve seen the way you count your blessings. There is something pernicious in the way you hold your lips when you spell the words out in your mind's eye.
Sam: Well are you going to wait here or over there?
Son: I can’t see what you’re pointing to.
Sam: You won’t unless you know what I’m getting at.
Son: Do you know what I mean?
Sam: Don’t start that!
Son:What do you think I mean? It’s obvious isn’t it?
Sam: You want to kill me and pretend you wrote this.
Son: Really I did not see that coming.
Sam: Well it hasn’t happened yet has it?
Son: I don’t know you tell me.
Sam: Why should I tell you anything after all these years of pain?
Son: Pain is like gain only it starts with a p
Sam: It does at that. I can’t fight on a full bladder
Son: You should try it. It somehow focuses the mind.
Sam: On peeing?
Son: Yes that’s exactly what I mean.
Sam: What’s the use eh?
Son: What’s the you A? Do you see what I did there?
Sam:Whose the what? How are you?
Son: I’m okay are you okay?
Sam: Yes if you are I’m also okay.
Son: That’s settled then if I kill you you won’t mind because I’m okay and we are friends aren’t we?
Sam: You mean are we not?
Son: No I mean innit innit? Do you see wori mean geezer?
Sam: I’m glad that’s out of the way. I hate that withered deceptive mild mannered passive aggressive control freaking.
Son: That’s a relief. Let's have a meeting.


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