Buttering Toast

Buttering toast is

Something we do a lot

And yet each time there are decisions

Leave the toast to cool?

And the butter sits atop

All buttery and unctuous 

But visibly guilt prompting

Butter it hot

And whilst succulent and invisible

May go soggy

And then there’s the jam

What does it say about a man?

Who spreads jam with the butter knife?

A man out of control

Butter in the jam

Jam in the butter

And then there’s the butter straight from the fridge

That should never be a problem

Not if you use the butter dish

But we shape our tools

And have to invent spreadable butter

Every single time I butter toast

I remember the time

My sister announced the innovative method

Her stubble faced boy friend had

For cleaning the butter knife

He would stab it into the edge

And slide the knife inside

This is similar to opening the post

If you use a letter knife

The knife ventures into an unknown world inside the bread

The family murmur en masse

We can’t have other family’s methods at our table

Thinks he’s a big shot does he?

This butter knife-cleaning dandy?

I don’t like to eat toast on the move

It’s too fraught with synaptic fire