The lost idea

 For a few days now you’ve had a nagging feeling about an idea that would bring clarity to how you feel about stuff. You see already you are into the realm of the nebulous statement. That’s why it’s so important that you remember that naggin feeling. You’ve lost that nagging feeling. Well no actually you have the nagging feeling because you lost the idea. You’re scouring the inside of your head. Gently so as not to erase any vestige of the concepts on the magic slate at the front of your skull. It’s a little tricky because the lost idea is to do with how thinking is not all done inside the head. You had planned to go for a walk in order to creep up on yourself and catch yourself muttering something that might reveal this conceptual verity. What you don’t want is to sit down and start writing yourself further and further away from the simplicity of the lost idea.

 

You have a vague intuition that this idea had something to do with plastic figurines. Maybe even the plastic totem pole components that came free with cereal when you were a child. Or the Doctor Who cardboard characters that came with Weetabix. But this, if you are honest is clutching at straws, hoping that this oblique analogy will prompt a full blown memory. Riffing on the totem pole, it could be easy to jump right on into a flow about native American Indians living within an embodied aesthetic ontology. This much you believe but that’s not the idea you have lost causing the nagging feeling. Even this piece of writing is a desperate attempt to unearth the lost concept and again very much like tidying up your desk you have to be wary of tidying away the thing that made it all make sense (If none of this means anything to you, I’m sorry but perhaps he’ll find the idea soon and we can all breathe a sigh of relief). 

 

The totem pole analogy is convenient but feels wrong. It’s too easy you think reflecting on the way the separate totem pole components joined together to make a totem pole. Everything connects, see? No you see that is a linguistic word trap. From the informational realm of communication. Oh my word you think. If I see another mind map in my life I will kill myself you swear. The connections of linguistics reducing the interwoven nature of the cosmic tapestry to the data shame of equivalence. Similar you muse to how the Royal Surgeon masonic conspiracy was used to make all masonic conspiracies absurd. No back track even the word conspiracy makes the institutional corruption in the masons absurd. The linguistic connection of things might map the connectedness of the materially vital cosmos but that is a convenient coincidence. It is apophenia and you won’t suffer that particular neurotic pathology lightly. No siree. Not on your nelly. Apophenia is a kind of Gravity's Rainbow way of connecting everything. It gets close to the actual entangled nature of a framework of feeling but in other ways it’s like seeing a ghost through a wall.

 

The idea you lost is to do with finding the model of expression as an alternative to the model of communication. The books tell us that we are a communicating species. Meanwhile all other organisms inorganic, organic and otherwise are getting on with the business of feeling and expressing their experiences. Look we done good says the human we did invented the morse code telefungus devise. See how ad-vanced we become. This is puzzling because enlightened people talk about freedom from the body when the word infected mind is ashamed of the body. Sensations are how we feel and maybe how we free ourselves from the shame of being human. This is all so messy and the idea you have misplaced made it all seem so simple and clear. You feel like you cannot express another idea until you find this lost one. And that, for your information, is not the lost idea or a feeble attempt at being meta ta ta.