The Seeker

The following is a story translated by Prof. Kimey Peckpo from the original Finnish version published in the 1940s as part of a scheme to encourage intuitive empathy in what was regarded as an increasingly secular life. The title itself is a rough translation of a word "Etsivä" that is perhaps more nuanced than this singular version suggests. The anonymous author may have been thinking about Caspar David Friedrich's painting Wanderer above a Sea of Fog but this is a playful piece of speculation.

A man who considered himself to be both wise and humble would set off each day walking briskly towards the craggy slope of a climb up to a summit above his home. I’m going to find enlightenment he said to himself and sometimes to other people he met on his way or even when he was just out shopping on the high street. He strode purposefully through the fields, which always looked so inviting from the back garden of the house where he lived in the valley. Once you were on the slopes, they always felt steeper than they looked and soon his heart rate would rise and his face became a shiny glowing mass of exertion. This is doing me good he thought as he stepped mindfully around and over cowpats. He always remembered how his aunt had told him how she liked to frisbee dry cow pats at unsuspecting friends until one day she discovered that some dry cowpats can be wet cowpats underneath. This is an appropriate lesson to take on my journey to enlightenment he thought. On his way to the summit on this particular day he fell in step behind a man with a dog climbing the same peak. The man, who had always been too scared to climb the last stretch of the mountain, thought if a dog can do this stretch then surely, I, an able-bodied human can manage it. I will just have to follow the dog like the dog follows his master. This is surely another thing you might realise on the path to enlightenment he thought to himself. The dog walker clambered over the boulders higher and higher with the dog following closely behind him. The man followed closely behind them praying all the time that his weak ankle would hold out and not buckle as it was prone to doing. Clambering over the rocks the man looked down from the ridge he had never ventured up before and beheld beautiful sweeping vistas into the neighbouring kingdom and then what seemed to be a sheer drop to certain death just a yerd from his feet. Tears of fear were close to his eyes as his followed the tail of the dog higher and higher up the craggy scramble towards the summit. I don’t want to die, he thought, I will get to the top and return to the village to tell everyone how I became enlightened by following a dog. He gritted his teeth and kept going to the summit all the time concentrating on each individual step. When he finally arrived at the peak the dog-walker and the dog had already started down the other side back towards the village. The man’s face was close to bursting from the exertion and the fear but he allowed himself to pause and take in his achievement of making it to the summit. This is enlightenment he thought staring down over the sweeping landscape with the shadows of clouds passing over the deep green swathes of undulating fields. He set off back down the slope buzzing with the anticipation of telling all the people in the local inn how he had come close to certain death but kept on to find enlightenment. He walked with renewed vigour through the fields enjoying the cooling breeze and savouring the gentle warmth of the spring sunshine on his face. His complexion was returning to a more normal pallor instead of the beetroot pink and his hands were also reducing in size after they had swollen up due to the increased altitude. He climbed over a stile and felt the rough wooden structure under his hands and marvelled at how different even such a simple thing could feel when you were enlightened. As he stepped down into the next field he caught a black and white flash of the dog-walkers dog ahead of him. I must have caught them up he reasoned, but lifting his gaze ahead he found that the dog walker was nowhere to be seen. Just then the man looked to his side where the peak he had just climbed swept around offering an alternative route to the top. He noticed that the path ahead was blocked and a large uneven pile of rocks and debris lay across the path. That is peculiar he thought. Perhaps this is not the way down and I have been mistaken in follow the dog walker and his dog, he thought. The dog harried and jostled around the man’s feet and seemed to nudge him towards the pile of rocks. Just then the breeze dropped and he caught the feint sound of a voice. Help me it said. Please help me. He realised that the voice was coming from within the pile of rocks across the path. The dog then skittered and scrambled over the rocky pile making a whimpering sound and looking up at the man. 

 

The man walked over to the rocks and knew what he must do. Strangely the rocks looked like they had been there a long time and had worn smooth. Some of them even had the soft green patina of lichen on them. Still, though the man I must release the dog walker. `there’s no time to consider the conditions under which he came to be beneath this pile of stones. He heard the voice again and it seemed to be deep under the ground. The sun was already sinking in the sky and the man realised he would have to work quickly. He stooped down and picked up a rock in his hands, feeling its ancient textures against his palms. He remembered to bend at his knees and lifted the rock away from the pile. It was heavy but he enjoyed the effort of bringing it up to his chest, crouching and then rolling it off to one side. That was all the times I worried about whether or not they laugh at me in the pub he thought, smiling to himself. He stooped down again and picked up another slightly larger rock and slowly drew himself upright and turned to place the stone down on the green grass of the field. That was all the times I’ve worried about the car insurance he suddenly thought from nowhere. He returned to the pile and set his palms upon another stone. Help me came the voice again. He lifted one leg up onto the pile and clutched the stone into his groin and shuffled back onto the level grass setting the beautiful ancient form down on the ground. That was all the times I’ve lay in bed wondering about the people I’ve offended with my off the cuff witticisms he thought. Going back to the pile he pressed his face to a gap in the stones and tried to see if he could see where the dog walker was situated. Are you okay? he called into the gap, don’t worry I won’t be long. We’ll soon have you out. Help me please came the voice again from underneath the stones. The man felt sure it was getting weaker so he bent down and wrapped his torso around the biggest rock he could see and heaved it off the pile. He noticed how he was hugging it like a living creature and it felt good. He set the stone down at the foot of the pile. That was all the times I’ve worried about losing my life savings to internet fraud he thought and plunged back into the pile. This time he grasped a smaller rock to give himself a bit of a breather. He playfully tucked it under his chin and pretended to pose like a shot putter. Instead of feeling tired this need to free the dog-walker was filling him with energy. He set down the smaller stone. That’s all the embarrassed feelings I’ve had about telling people how much I enjoy their company. Another smaller stone. That’s all the times I’ve remembered making reasons for my friends to reject me. Another bigger stone. That’s all the times I’ve felt like I just don’t belong in the world because it’s far too rational for me. Another bigger stone clutched to his chest. That’s all the times I’ve thought my life will never get going and I’ll never be as successful as all my friends. And so, the man passed the next hour until his clothes were drenched in sweat and he was laughing softly to himself. He had almost forgotten about the urgency of rescuing the dog-walker when he felt a soft touch on his shoulder and a voice whispered in his ear. Help me please and he turned around with a start to see himself standing with his hands on his hips laughing. Look at you he said to himself. I’ve never seen you so absorbed in anything it was quite a sight to behold here in this beautiful sunny meadow. The man was too dumbstruck to speak and could only manage a but but… as his eyes bulged out of his head. Here let me help you said the double-self who leaned into the pile of stones and picked up a medium sized dark flinty grey one. That’s all the times you’ve felt a nagging hurt because someone you taught something taught it back to you at a price. They both laughed as the double rolled the rock into the corner of the field. Together they stooped down the pile and picked up a beautifully weathered stone each. This one is all the times I’ve thought about how much more in control of their lives other people are. This one's all the times I’ve let my pride get the better of me and try to prove someone else wrong, said the double. On and on they went until there was barely a pile anymore, just a surface of rocks on the grass. See said the double there was never anyone there and he pointed at the hole between the last remaining stones. Look down there he said and the man gleefully bent down to peer into the earth itself. Help me came the voice again as the double steadied himself and let a medium sized stone drop onto the man’s head. The man smiled to himself and collapsed. As he fell the double gently steered him into the gap in the stones. The man crumpled neatly into a hole and lay serenely as the double-self looked down benignly at him. They both smiled with their eyes shut and the double steadily set about covering up the man with the different stones that had been moved over the course of the afternoon. The dog gave a playful bark having woken from a delicious nap and before long there as a neat pile of stones over the man, who now lay for all eternity in the earth. The double patted the dog on the head and together they began the slow walk back down to the village as the magic glow of twilight settled over the gently meandering landscape.